Beliefs: God and Reincarnation

Alert:
I'm pretty oblivious to religious beliefs and only go by the conclusions I have reached on my own accord. I am not trying to impose my beliefs on you, I am simply expressing my views on life after taking my Philosophy class. If you choose to read this and wish to argue with me, don't bother because I will not answer and I already warned you beforehand.


I have been to church maybe 6 times in my life, and 4 of those times have been to attend to weddings. My mother is a professor at the catholic university where I am studying. My parents never once forced me to go to church, nor have I ever wanted to go on my own out of curiosity. Now, just because I don't believe in going to church or in the bible doesn't mean I don't believe in God. I believe in a higher power, something, not someone, that animates and binds us in our bodies. I don't really believe in Heaven or Hell, for isn't Hell pretty much here on earth? Purgatory, Hell...it's all the same to me really. The only Hell I would choose to believe in would be in Dante's perceptional one. Not full of fire or little devils making your life quite literally, a living Hell, but everything divided by the level of "sins" you had made in your life.

But like I said before, I believe Hell is being on earth, not being able to reach the state of pure energy that may join the highest energy of all. I do not really see reincarnation as the "Hell" my Philosophy professor presented it. I mean sure, who would really wish to return to this world that is full of pollution, morally corrupted, greed, hypocrisy and so much more problems? I believe that while that is part of the punishment of returning, God can't be that bad or at least he shouldn't be, and that's why you may get the opportunity to meet your loved ones' souls in other lives from the bonds you have made since way before the life you are currently living.

Maybe you'll think I'm childish for not believing that you die and that's that, for holding on to a shred of hope that we don't leave our loved ones behind and they don't leave us. Well maybe I am, but who can prove me wrong? And how can I prove wrong every religion? How can any of us prove what you believe in? We can't, simple as that, we can't prove anything until we actually die. You haven't died yet and I haven't died yet, we could both be wrong. My Philosophy professor, whom I love and adore with all my heart but do not agree with, imposed this scenario:

Let's say we (the people that are currently in the classroom) are the only people on earth and me, being the oldest one, died. Suddenly one of you has a baby, my soul would be reincarnated in him. I can't believe that because then the population on earth would always be the same. Why would anybody wish to return to earth? Not only that, I don’t think that it would be fair that somebody would get a new soul while I’m stuck with the same old one “pagando los platos rotos” of somebody who lived before me. I have a soul, somebody else is going to have it? Is it going to be me or somebody else and why would it be somebody else?

Well professor, I have to say I do not agree with you. Souls need a period of maybe rest and purification (at least from what I have read) and a soul not reincarnate soon after its body has died, as that can cause some major complications in their life and disrupts it. They need time to move on to other spiritual planes, and as my mother imposed, who are we to say that this is the only world in which we reincarnate? Maybe it’s not all about mending your past life’s mistakes, maybe it’s about reuniting with souls you met before, there’s a positive side to everything, you are here to make better choices not to repeat the same bad ones you made before. Yes, somebody else WILL most likely get your soul unless you manage to ascend to that state of pure energy after you die in this life, that “somebody else” will not be the you as you are living right now, as it says it’s some body one that is different from yours. Do souls have an identity of their own? I don’t believe they do, to me they are what makes us live, so why can’t it go move another body that is not mine? There are key moments in past life that you can use to help your current life. They suppress what happened before when they die and then come back. Not only that, there is a theory that you are not supposed to have the same name you had in a past life because that confuses the soul because you are a new person. Hello? That “you” died, you’re a new you that is not you but in some ways conserves something of you- aura, personality maybe? You will never be the same identical person you were before. You’ll be a newer, perhaps better person. (woah…confusing)

I don't know, that sort of sounds better in my mind XD Well whatever, this blog is Where the Bunnies Live (in my brain of course), so it makes sense to me but doesn't have to for you.

We won't know anything until the day we die, and if we die and reincarnate we will not remember though maybe we would, on some occasions. I am a believer of fate, kismet, karma, whatever you wish to call it. I have the feeling that I walked past my own tomb and that happened two years ago,by a twist of fate when I was visiting my cousin and her family in Connecticut, a place where I've always felt...sort of drawn to but not completely...
We went on Route 95 North, which I now realize is the number 5, my destiny number...Anyways, we went on that route normally as we do each year, sometimes wandering off through random Exits. For some really strange abnormal reason on my persona, I begged my parents to let me see and film a random cemetery that caught my attention. It was elevated off the ground and had a normal sized gate that had apparently been locked for a long time. Even though there was a gate, you could climb through the side (which did not have walls or fences) and go in. That meant crawling on the cemetery ground…something which I would never do, but did do at that moment. Now, I was there, but had no idea why (My father went with me) so we’re looking around and there was a big and beautiful tree, my dad walks behind it and says “you’ll never believe what’s behind here!” and I’m just staring at an obelisk and the sky and say “A well, right?” and he blinked surprised and said “yes…how’d you know?” I walk behind the tree and said “Don’t know…maybe it was logical.” Well we kept looking, no tombs caught my attention as they sometimes do, the sky, the tree, the place…I did however take pictures of the obelisk. Well, we were there for about 20 minutes and my dad says let’s go and we take the path in front of the gate (which apparently was opened…-.-) so we’re turning to leave, I’m walking the path and for no real reason, I looked to my left and saw a row of tombs but I felt like I had to stop moving just to look at one in particular. It wasn’t glamorous, it was quite simple…and it was a girl’s tomb, I really do not remember her name well regretfully, nor do I remember the year or the town we were in…I felt a pang in my chest as I read the tombstone, the message engraved left me relatively dead. Apparently she had died at a young age, 20 something years old, was married and I think the husband was buried nearby or in the same tomb. The message was from her husband which said something along the lines of: Death took you too soon from me, our love was beginning but it was strong. I’ll suffer life for the both of us living without you. But our souls will be reunited, if not in this life then in the next.

“I was sick…”

That’s all I said before I shrugged away that weird feeling…The next year I found the person with whom I wanted to spend the rest of my life with in the beginning of the year, and in the summer we crossed paths not only in New York at the airport, but also on Route 95 North…we had never been in the same area, much less in the same country. That all has to count for something, there are no coincidences in life. That’s one of the closest sensations of reincarnation I have personally experienced, and possibly the most important one. Others have spawned from horrid visions and feelings of dying because of running out of oxygen, which is why I have a sort of hydrophobia, I say sort of because I don’t fear water completely, I just have a great deal of respect for it and try to be as careful as I can be with it. I will continue with the theory of my name sometime after I post this ridiculously long post and stop boring you to tears ^_^

I remembered I wanted to share yet another point of view of my professor, one which he put in the book we use in class and with this I will finish.

Para ser reencarcionista hay que ser, o masoquista, o tenerle temor a la muerte. Es forma de prolongar la existencia aun despues de la muerte. Por tanto para los reencarcionistas la union del cuerpo y el alma es una union accidental, no esencial o hilemorfica como sostiene Aristoteles.

To be a believer in reincarnation you must either be a masochist or you must fear death. It is a way of prolonging your existence even after dying. Those who believe in reincarnation believe that the union of body and soul is an accidental one, not essential or (I don't know how to translate that word) as Aristotle said.

1) What is so masochistic about believing you reincarnate? Perhaps we are just being realistic, because we're brave enough to believe in returning to a place like this.

2) Fear of death? I don't think so, you still have to go through death. Now if you mean fear about what awaits you AFTER you die, what can be worse than returning here? Ahhh... I don't fear death nor do I embrace it, I take it as a stage we have to go through, if I'm wrong, if we're all wrong and we do not reincarnate then we don't, fine, I intend to fully live and enjoy my life and when death comes let it take me.

3) Maybe it is not accidental, I don't know what others may believe but I for one do not believe that this union is accidental and I for one love living.

4) Aristotle also said that objects fall faster if they are heavier and Galileo proved him wrong -.- also thought that the earth stood still while the sun orbited around it - -;; Don't pull the Aristotle card on me because I will kick your ass.



Much love to everybody, Niimura

Especially to mommy, thank you for giving me your book with the underlined stuff I need to know for the test and footnotes by Nestor, I was too appalled during class to even take them since I was so against them =P

My Vow

I am quite surprised and hurt by my mother, lately it seems that her work can overshadow the fact that she has a daughter. I know that work is extremely important, but it seems that even when she's not working she blatantly ignores me.

Like let's say for example, she walks into the house, greets my father and the dog, goes directly upstairs and forgets I exist. Once upstairs I rarely see her working, no...instead she sits down to play on Neopets or to surf on her favorite forum. I know it's probably insensitive of me to say this, but she wouldn't have so much work if she wasn't such a procrastinator and that is a real fact.

It seemed funny and hurtful today when she was talking blah blah blah with my dad and I walked into the kitchen and greeted her, after like 5 minutes she said "Nayade, you're here? Oh my...I didn't even notice" and I tell her "Well lately it seems like you never notice me, what else is new?" "I'm sorry, but I have a lot of stress." "That's not really an excuse, you know?" she laughs slightly "You'll do the same once you're a mother, you'll do it to your daughter."

That comment was so...I don't know how to put it. There is no justifiable excuse (unless it were truly earthshattering) to ignore and not take care of your children, to not feed them, tell them you love them, hug them and kiss them. No matter how busy you are! No matter how tired you are! Come on? Tired from teaching 3 classes? I understand it's hard, but it's not to the point of allowing you to ignore your home life. Writing as one of the very few teenage girls who are dying to become a mother, that was insulting. I would give anything, anything I possibly could to have the daughter and son I see in my dreams, to have my dream family. It will be hard attaining that not only because I'm not in a...I'll stop there, but my other problems are biological. I'm unhealthy, I have anemia, I go days without eating, I'll probably not be able to have any children after I'm 30 something. I know I have to change all that in other to obtain what I so strongly desire, I'm quite clear on that.

If and when, god willing, I am a mother, I will always try to keep in mind the pain and suffering I've been going through praying desperately for a chance to have some babies with the man I love. I will always try to be there when they so need it, I'll be sweet but I'll be firm, I'll care for them in the same way my mother has cared for me but also much much more. I'll always keep in mind the pain I have gone through with all the troubles I've had with my own mother, the hurt I've felt I never want my children to taste. I'll remember all the tears I have spilled over them, all the dreams and hopes I have had and I pray to God that I'll be able to fulfill this promise because if not, then I'm not worthy enough to be their mother.

Just Dance...

Wow...I have this blog ignored T_T and that just cannot happen! I refuse to let it die...

Ummm...My life, how has it been going? Oh! Halloween was two weeks ago, wasn't it? Well on Thursday my shistas *points to mommy and Hara* came UNEXPECTEDLY - -;; to the University so they could surprise me with their totally expected non-expected visit hehehe ^_^ I was a bit pissed off when I was in my own little world, just letting thoughts take over me...involving myself in my music...and suddenly when I closed my eyes-

WHAM! Andrea had glomped me...- -;; I had a major WTF? look on my face...it was, I guess kinda priceless :P There's no denying I was happy to see my wonderful shistas though ^_^

So they stayed over at my house from Thursday to Sunday, thanks to the long weekend. We went trick or treating too! = O Something I had never ever done before in my life hehehe ^_^ Mommy dressed up like a cute explorer along with a lion puppet, Harita dressed as a Hogwarts student and yours truly (since she did not have a costume) hunted down her old high school uniform and went as a High School-College Dropout with makeup and high heels lol ^_^ Bien bitchy...

We went door to door with some kids, we placed mommy in the front since she looked the youngest hehehe even though she's the oldest XD I looked like the middle sister and Hara, sadly...looked the oldest ^^;; Wuv you Harita... Mommy got us plenty of candy to divide amongst us ^_^V

So apart from trick or treating we had normal fun shista stuff. Mommy left early on Sunday, but Hara stayed until about 8pm or so...I felt I was going to be sad after she left, so I hopped into the car and told mom and dad I'd be staying over at mommy's house hehehe ^_^ and when they came to pick me up on Monday I stringed HER along to come visit me ^^ Yay!!!

The week went by sorta fast, and now we're all tired, right? hehehe

College wise, not much has been up. I finished with my Spanish class since the professor had to take an absence leave due to her critically conditioned mother :( My blessings go out to them...
I took another Italian test on Wednesday, like right after the elections lol

Speaking of the elections...I was so sad to hear that neither Gorky nor Psycho Tuna won!!! TT_TT That's so not fair! I wasted a vote on my dog and nobody else voted for him...and as for Psycho Tuna, well...only I love him T_T Kitty wuvs the Psycho Tuna =^.^= Mrowr! Yes, I ruined the ballot :P

Hmmm...I want a Nintendo DS T_T I don't want to wait until Christmas *cries* but if I have to wait, I have to wait...:( Sadly I'm not at all patient - -;;

I've been totally hooked on Lady Gaga!!! XD Looooool this is random, I just suddenly forgot that I had to mention that after I had already published the post lol hence the title for this entry :P Just Dance hehehe I decided to download her CD because I rather liked that song when I listened to it in Plaza del Caribe :P

Speaking of CDs, the most amazing band in the whole entire world...Dir en grey, will be releasing their 7th studio album called Uroboros on November 12! (November 11 American release - -;; ) Japan will still get it first XD hahaha

I've had my copy reserved in CDJapan since like summer XD I reserved the limited edition 2 CD set...so I'm anxious to have it in my arms ^_^ Sadly, temptation took over me on the day I downloaded the Lady Gaga CD because...I accidentally found that Uroboros leaked before the release date...^^;;; I'm such a horrible fan...*sighs* but come on, I at LEAST had the decency to buy the CD :P The EXPENSIVE one >_< Because I love them that much hehehe ^_^

I'll review the CD AFTER I get my original copy ^_~

I'll leave it at that for now ^_~ love you all lotses!

Selene's Enlightment

Changes and uncertainty in the weather, changes in my very own emotions. I'm not really much into astrology (as in checking my horoscope I mean...) but I am into the characteristics of the people born under certain signs as they are usually very heads on.

Being born under the astrological sign of Cancer, I've seen way too many similarities between the characteristics and my way of being. Astrologically and Zodiac-wise, everything fits me to a T.

I am a Cancer born in the year of the Snake, as well as born during the hour of the Snake. According to the Chinese Zodiac, my element is Earth; it is the element which rules all others, my destined number is 5 and my ruling season is the summer. I was born July 11, 1989. Since I was born, I have always loved the water (though I also fear it and am not supposed to be around it much due to my health problems), I feel most comfortable in rainy conditions and when I am near water. I am Cancer, which is a water element. Now why couldn't I be a water element in the Chinese Zodiac? Simply because I share very little attributes with the descriptions as to what one born this element would be like...

Being Cancer, my ruling planet is the Moon and lately I have analyzed the course of my emotions. Cancer is a very emotional sign, possibly the most emotional of the twelve signs; especially since we are ruled by the Moon. We are moody and we tend to be depressive, but it is because we are, most likely, more in tuned with our feelings...And I realize that this makes us difficult to understand at times, and we may get people angry with our sudden mood changes.

With the recent changes in the weather and the horrible uncertainty of: Is it going to rain? IS there going to be a hurricane? Why is everybody just rushing around?. I'm somebody that just prefers it when people tell you "This is what's going to happen." and there are no doubts about anything, because I know what to expect.

This is something I do subconsciously, I tend to believe that this doesn't affect me but it actually does emotionally. This week I have felt emotionally very weak, feeling like I want to cry and not wanting to know anything about anybody. Every negative and positive thought had been floating along in my mind, worries...anxieties...hopefulness...A cornucopia of feelings, as I always say.

I have a difficulty sorting these feelings out, and the weather wasn't helping me with that. I wasn't sure if I wanted it to rain, or if I just wanted the damn thing to go away and let me continue life peacefully. Yesternight I was close to tears, as I have been this whole week; I felt as if I had no voice, I didn't want my shistas to call me, I didn't want to talk to my parents. I felt abandoned when I was the one wanting to be left alone. I felt like no matter how much I talked, nobody wanted to listen to me...Last night I prayed for some ray of hope, I wished I could rid my mind of any and all negative things.

When I woke up it was amazingly sunny in the morning, sadly I knew this meant that we had classes today; though I was glad that I didn't have to spend the day alone in my house. The sun was shining but inside I felt just as sad and empty as I did the night before. I went to the university, putting on a fake mask of happiness and went to Annie's class.

If I was random with my negative feelings, Annie was even more random (or maybe just drunk).
She was so beautifully...I don't know what word to put...maybe crazy, funny...I have no idea, she was simply Annie. She was complaining about the equipment for power point presentations and how she uses one of the projectors during her first class (before ours) and how somebody comes and takes it because another professor has it requested for his/her class. She has to call to the computer lab to have somebody (usually Carmelo) bring a laptop and a portable in focus, set it up so she can use it for our class.

Carmelo arrives to the classroom and, stupidly, asks Annie if he should set it up. Annie looked at him, snickered and said "Well SHYEAH! Like, would you trust that kind of technology with me? We all know I'm the most retarded being when it comes to computers. "Should I set it up...?" Kkkk! Please...! What kind of question is that? - -;;" So Carmelo sets up the equipment and Annie looks like a little girl trying to peak and see what's going on and what's he doing. Annie, during an ergodic moment, whacks Carmelo on the head with her arm and jump-drive ^^;; hugs his head and begins apologizing.

Once everything is set up, Carmelo asks Annie which presentation she's going to open: "I don't even remember what title I put ^^;; I think it's that one...Suprasegmental...thingies..." He opens the document and the screen with the slides at one side and one big slide with the content pops up. Annie then begins trying to make the slideshow begin. Unfortunately, she begins clicking on the toolbar near the watch and computer icons that indicate if you are connected to the internet and whatnot. We see her desperately clicking and decide to ask her "Professor...? What are you doing?" "I'm trying to make the screen...-*starts moving her arms up and like in a circular motion* I don't know, umm...big?" So we pull the projector back to make the whole thing look bigger "NOOOO!!! Not that >_<" So we managed to figure out that what she wanted was the slideshow to begin...When we did that, she started explaining the Juncture rules. “Know what I learned today? That on the computer you can do the little diagonal lines *draws a / on the chalkboard* o.o” “A slash…?” “Yeah, that ^_^ Sorry the power point’s a piece of crap >_< minute="0" hour="22">10pm with a glass of wine on the side! Hoping it will rain so you don’t have to go to work the next day! TT_TT And the damn rain never came! FUCK! TT_TT I was seriously pissed at life! Oh…right...the class, let's keep going ^^;;" so she keeps going, it was impossible not to laugh every 24 seconds...^_^ She was...so full of life yet at the same time tired of it hehehe...She cheered me up instantly...^^ Oh my...there was one part, where she was going to use the overhead projector and she begins touching where you put the transparencies. "Oh for the love of God! Why must professors always leave stuff here? - -;;" she picks it up and scans it, from a distance I could tell it was Edgardo's transparency sheet of the classroom with the items and everything in french. "Oh...this belongs to the director of the department, from his french class. I'm going over there most likely after the class is finished, I should take this to him." she keeps staring at the transparency "Nah, screw it - -;; I don't feel like being charitable today. I'm having a bad hair day" and she just...^^;;; left it in the classroom "Did you guys know I spent all of last night just by the window hoping it would rain??? NADA TT_TT Then my brother calls at 6am to ask if I had already gone to sleep and I was like, no...and then he said "Well don't do it porque las clases no las suspendieron ^_~" And I was like, FUCK! TT_TT"...hehehe...she really brightened up my day, but it wasn't enough to stop the mess I was going through... I skipped mom's class to go with some of my classmates to eat at Subway, apparently Annie's laziness somehow took over us :P I had fun there with Emily and Stephanie, we had a really nice chat and stuff. We headed back to the University and I went to McManus, stayed in mom's class for a while and then went outside because I wasn't getting a good internet signal all the way up on the third floor. I went outside and it was raining...softly...and for no apparent reason, I just started walking around the parking lot while getting wet...I stopped for a while, took out my mp3 player and started listening to Péché d'Envie, a song by Carla Bruni. Getting wet, listening to that song and singing along just washed away all my thoughts, problems and negative feelings, restoring me once again to my natural old self. I walked around with a genuine smile on my face...went to Mercedes' class and she asked me "Did you get caught in the rain? you're all wet o.o" "Yes...I got wet ^_^" "De donde venias?" "Nowhere...I just...felt like taking a walk in the rain ^_^" "You could get sick! O_O " "I know...^_^ but I needed to ^_~" I had a very nice time with my parents after class finished, we went to the mall so we could eat, went home...t'was raining on the way over :P Ummm...I went to sleep since neither of my shissies were online...:( And I started feeling sad...but I pushed it away and went to sleep. Like an hour or so after, I woke up because I felt a light keeping me awake and I thought "Damn streetlight...it's brighter than usual >_<" oh, I neglected to mention that I was sleeping with my head towards the window, something I rarely do. So I wake up, look through the window...and it was the full moon, shining directly on me...I felt...so renewed, so full of hope...it was like I was reborn and everything just melted away... It's been, as Annie said, a long hellish week...yet in the end, it was worth it...

Incidentally, the security and safety measures in la Caotica are really something to laugh at...We have something much better than a lame old fire extinguisher, I tip my hat off to whomever wrote this wise message...

Ciao my loves ^_~

Ryoujoku no Ame: La Lluvia de Insultos

Bueno, hoy fue mi primer dia viendo una clase desde el punto de vista de un profesor. Pude notar lo indecentes, irresponsables, desconciderados y malagradecidos que pueden ser. Salio de mi corazon el ayudar a Ada Hilda, pero un favor asi no lo vuelvo a hacer hasta que yo sea profesora.

Este post supongo que es para desahogarme un poco...

Desde antes de que empezara la clase de Español, ya habia gente pidiendome no solo la lista de asistencia para firmar y irse, si no que tambien la presentación a powerpoint. Por supuesto que no hice nada de eso, le hice una promesa a Ada Hilda y francamente no salía de mi el dejarlos hacer eso. Cuando llego la hora de la clase espere un ratito, como 10 minutos antes de comenzar como tal con la presentación ya que siempre hay estudiantes que no llegan temprano a la clase. Pues comienzo la presentación y empieza a llegar gente alborotada, con celulares, comida y otras cuestiones, pero ya yo habia empezado y les aclare que yo no tenia inconveniente alguno en que cuando se acabara la presentación yo podia regresar atras y ponerles lo que perdieron. Ahora, vamos a decir que como 8 estudiantes sumamente impropios seguian jodiendo y supongo que hasta hablando de mi y lo "hija 'e puta" que soy, simplemente porque me creo la profesora.

I don't want to be putting on airs that I was a professor and that I felt great being the one in charge, no, I hate being in charge especially for a bunch of fucktards. Well okay, let's be honest...It wasn't the whole group, but it still pissed me off. Once I got home, I remembered that huh...It was only the girls the ones that were acting up with me.

"Gracias mi amor, eres la mejor...!!!" en voz alta. "Si, la mejor hija 'e puta...jijiji Pues claro, como es hija de una profesora..." en voz bajita. Okay, first of all: WTF? o.o What does my mother have to do with that? I believe that they don't know if my mother was a prostitute before she married my father, and if they do know then...que me lo digan a la cara.

Look...all I did, was pass the slides....nothing else. Se querian ya ir? I wasn't stopping them, they could sign and go for all I care, but they weren't getting the information from me. If they are fucking talking loudly on the cellphone when they are not supposed to, I just kindly asked them to step out so I could continue with the presentation. Carajo y si terminaron de escribir? Just fucking say so...I'm not psychic, pero es decir "termine" no "pasalo para que ya nos vayamos!" eso es una falta de respeto y simplemente no te voy a hacer caso, punto. Tambien, si todos ya terminaron y quedan dos "pelagatos" como papi diria, que no terminaron porque estaban hablando y ya era la 3ra vez que te dicen "vira para atras porque no terminamos de escribir" no, tampoco lo iba a hacer, me estaban atrasando y se los dije "Lo siento, ya todos ellos terminaron y se quieren ir. Ustedes estaban hablando. Al final de la presentaci'ón pongo lo que se les quedo"

Pues al final, viene la pequeña sabelotodo pelagata a decirme "Mira, sabes que? No me pongas el slide, solo vengo a decirte que tu no puedes estar con esas actitudes porque aqui tu no eres la profesora para estar mandando" y se fue, pues good riddance y no sere la profesora, pero si fuy la que la profesora dejo acargo del grupo and I wasn't there so some idiots could trample all over me. So well...the class finished and I just walked over to mom, whom was sitting in the back using my laptop since she had a meeting online. My mom told me lo que dijeron las pendangas aquella cuando se fueron y las otras idiotas still bitching about my so-called attitude.

I wasn't the professor, I know that...I didn't have attitude, I had my defenses up because I know what fucktards students can be. While I was not the professor, I was the one in charge and they had to respect that. Obviously since we live in a society where people just can't seem to follow instructions and feel like they need to stand up to authority, they'll never be satisfied. To them there is only pendeja o hija 'e puta, o muy nice y "culiabierta" como dice papi o muy puta porque no se deja joder por ellos. Saben que? Prefiero ser la hija 'e puta que ser la pendeja, bien tipo Annie y por eso es que yo la admiro tanto. Porque nada que tu hagas es suficiente para ellos ya que son gente no civilizada que viven por el desorden.

Pero pues, yo solo pienso en que fueron como 5 pendejitas lo que me arruinaron la experiencia y eso no me va a desanimar en mis deseos de querer ser una profesora de ingles, eso solo me va a motivar más. Porque desgraciadamente yo se que asi y quizas hasta peor son los estudiantes de hoy en dia que solo van a perder el tiempo miserablemente en la universidad. Dentro de cada grupo estan sus pendejos y pendejas, pero tambien estan los estudiantes buenos y por esos son por los que te debes preocupar.

An Ergodic Day for the Random Girl o.o

Today was certainly a weird day full of random events...o.o

Let's start off with Philosophy 312, Philosophy of Man:

The professor came in a bit late, started talking to us about the test we have on Wednesday and started the new topics. Suddenly, I have no idea why o.o guess I was half-asleep, he drew a random "cow" (or at least he swears it was a cow) on the chalkboard. So he draws the cow and draws like...hay or something next to the boxy looking cow. "The cow eats the hay and the hay's natural form changes, turning itself into cow form as well." then he draws a loose screw next to the cow..."If the cow eats the screw then the cow is screwed, the screw stays in its natural form since it can't turn into a cow. Not only that, when the cow digests it, it comes out all crappy at the end of the cow." Yeah...gotta love Nestor, hai? ^_^ I miss taking German with him...*sighs* Anyway, he jumps from topic to topic: Leukemia, vaccines coming from cows originally (that was on topic), Hospital screw-ups, mouse traps, dead rats, his wife with a broom, and the rat with pretty eyes...
Que lindo es Nestorcito...^_^

So after Nestor's class was over, I headed over to the McManus building so I could wait for my Spanish 132 class.

Once there...I come across Carmelo, who tells me a really...random...story that can only stem from Annie's beautiful way of being ^^;;; and here I will share it with you:

It seems that on Saturday there was an activity at the university, I can't really remember what program it was...But Annie and Shirley were supposed to be there. Well, the most ergodic English professors, Annie and Shirley, arrived late and to make matters worse...Annie walked in to the meeting dancing...outdated dances - -;; and well...there weren't any seats left. Shirley panics a little bit (the way only she can panic -.-) and Annie just looks around, spots Carmelo and tells Shirley "Okay, here's what we'll do: You go sit somewhere in the back and I'll sit on Carmelo's lap ^_^" "O_O ANNIE ARE YOU NUTS? YOU CAN'T SAY THAT IN FRONT OF A STUDENT!!!" "Kkk...and why not? He's my student and he knows that this is my normal classroom behavior." to which Shirley just stayed equally as shocked as she was, as well as embarrassed. Then came the lunch, Carmelo was sitting with A&S and Annie talked about her childhood and how she wanted to be a nun...

Yes, I'm not making it up and I trust Carmelo didn't either since we both know Annie -.-
Well, she said that she wanted to become a nun but didn't because her uncle told her that nuns get their boobs cut off (exact words from Annie) Shirley kept insisting that there were students present, to which Annie kept saying "They know how I work, nothing should shock them by now" Yes...ironically nothing she says shocks us XD

Carmelo went to his class after finishing that tale and I am left alone...in a musty hallway, full of creepy students...But none quite as creepy as *ominous music*

Danny the Shadow (or pedophile, as Harita would call him)...*insert horror movie scream here*

There I was, quietly enjoying my beautiful Dir en grey concert, In Weal or Woe...Headbanging in the safety of an empty hallway, that is until I saw IT coming up the stairs. Slinking up the stairs like a lizard in heat, hunting its little prey...

He opened his mouth to attack! With his soft raspy pedophilic voice "Heeeeyyyyy...look who's here, la nena bella..." and he eyed me with a coy smile and looked at my girls TT_TT I felt sooo violated...*shudders* He coiled himself around the sweet, innocent, helpless victim and hugged her for like 24 seconds TT_TT He tried to see what she was doing on the computer, and Niimu just left the In Weal or Woe video running -.- *sighs* Long story short, he left but not before saying "I'll see YOU later, sweet stuff...^_~" O_O GAHHHH

So...then came Ada Hilda's class, where she gave us some really bad news regarding a family member whom I think is on life support... =( So she won't be coming in on Wednesday because she and her brothers and sisters will be making the choice I guess...*sighs* I felt so bad for her...
Pero, so we wouldn't miss a day of class, she assigned me to be the professor on Wednesday for her two 132 sections ^_^ So it will be my first taste at being a professor. Srta. Rodriguez, the way she presented me to her other section. Hahaha, who would've thought that my first class would be a Spanish class? XD No te rias Hara! It's not like I'm going to do much, it's just explaining her powerpoint presentation, passing and keeping the assistence lists and stuff. :P But I found that cute and I'm glad to be helping her during her times of difficulty...

After Spanish I talked to Edgardo, the director of our department, about a situation regarding my friend Jomarie and how she's not thinking straight this semester, and seeing how we could help her out. Anyway, he told me that next semester they're adding Russian!!! ^_^ So he obviously forced me to take the class hehehe not like I mind ^_^ And gave some good news regarding German II and the possibility of them teaching it next year *crosses fingers*

Italian class passed by very slowly...it was nice since the professor's so adorable, but I was really sleepy when he was talking about the verb "avere" he said the verbs we'd be tackling this week and the next so we can have another test possibly on next Wednesday...*sighs* Aww...but he was worried about my asthma, so he earned 24pts with me =P

Well that was my day ^_^ Now I have to work on the English 300 presentation. Take care lovies!!! ^_~

Let's end with a picture of the boxy cow, masterpiece by Nestor Gomez ^_^

I had to trace the cow because the pic was blurry ^^;; Nestor was just about to erase it hehehe ^_^


Love, Niimu

Hectic Hecticness

It has been such a long week, luckily the week's done but the work isn't. After the 2 free days the University gave to us due to the heavy rain and not coming in on Thursday, I feel like this week was endless. On Monday I had to take a killer Italian exam (though it was...I suppose, easy since we were able to use the book and dictionary) and I arrived almost 15 minutes late *sighs* On Tuesday I had no idea we had a quiz in Annie's class, so that really took me by surprise unfortunately, but the material was basically everything she has covered up 'til now. I had a literary essay that was due today for English 300, plus I have to do a library search (so I can add references) for yet another assignment for the same class, two assignments actually...on two different authors: Toni Cade Bambara and Gabriel García Marquez. I had a quiz in mom's class today on Machiavelli, which was easy. My English 311 midterm is scheduled for next Thursday, plus we have to show Annie our class portfolio ugh...>_< which is...not up to date...- -;;; On Monday I have a test in Philosophy 312...yeah...I'm swamped with work, I can't wait for next week to be over and done.

Oh, we also had a Spanish test last Monday and it was done in group. It was basically everything I learned during Eng. 224 last semester, so it was easy ^_^ Oh my God, I was paired up with two girls so we could do the test, well...there was one part where we had to do brainstorming (tejido de ideas) and write a paragraph on Fauna. Okay...that was pretty easy right? And we all know what Fauna is, hehehe...Well we were brainstorming "amphibians, mammals, reptiles, birds" and the animals included in those categories. Well one of the girls told me "Fish, where do they go? Mammals?", my eyes just popped out...I started gasping and hiperventillating. Ada Hilda asked me "Naya, honey, what's wrong? O.O" and I just started stabbing my chest with my pen...she got worried and told me to go over to her desk and I told her what my partner said and she just started laughing, bien linda...como que es Ada Hilda ^_^ hehehe...the test was fun.

On Wednesday, we had our Italian class at the computer laboratory. Hehehe I love arguing with the computer in the Tell Me More program ^_^ I've already used this program before with German and French, this was my second time using it in Italian =P I always argue with the computer since it always comes on to me, asking me if I'm pretty, young, single...*laughs* I always tell him "What would my husband say? XD" and he just changes the subject. Well, at one point the program froze on me and Carmelo (who's working in the lab with Lizardo) had to go and help me, well...for those of you that don't know; Since I started in the University last year, Carmelo has been teasing me about my height. He calls me tinkerbell, gnome, elf, dwarf, shorty, midget...yeah...'cause he knows that I'm always trying to look tall XD

At any rate, Carmelo fixes the program and I start doing the "Fill in the blanks" part of the program: Io, Il, Noi, Voi, Esse, etc...I started complaining that Carmelo messed up the program because at one point one of the excercises was: Io sono basso, mientra chi voi siete alti. I am short, while the rest of you are tall! The professor came to me because I cried a little and asked me: "Dulce mio, what's wrong?" "The computer hates me TT_TT he he...says I'm short..." "Ahhh...mala computadora! Le debo meter un puño, no? ^_^" and he patted my head!!! ^//////^ So cute and sweet!

Speaking of sweet professors, Annie was very nice and sweet with me today ^_^ something which is not really very common. Today was so much fun, she turned on the antique overhead proyector and she stared at it and said: "During the last class I saw a massive spiderweb under the mirror of the lightbulb...I guess I burned it when I turned it on o.o" so she turns (or tries to turn) the light on again and suddenly when it finally lights up, there appears a beautiful spiderweb "Oh look, it's still there. It's nice with all that detail and stuff..." and I say "Wow O_O It's beautiful" and I'm trying to see it by stretching on my seat TT_TT and she's like "I know isn't it? Come on, ven aca alfrente if you want to see it upclose ^_^" I shot up from my seat and contemplated the spiderweb and she was smiling at me ^_^ hehehe. Of course, what's Annie without a few insults? "It's amazing...how such a small animal can work to create something so beautiful while you guys..." *insert sarcastic smile here* "Let's leave it at that...we have to teach you guys to think since you won't do it for yourselves, and besides it's not like that spider has to take linguistic classes."

All in all, it was a tough but fun week ^_^ Thanks to those proffesors that manage to put a smile on my face and of course thanks to the support of my beautiful shistas ^_^ I love you all!

PS: I just realized that the last day I wrote was on the 24th ^//////^ No wonder I took my sweet time updating again ^_~ hehehe

24...the best number ever ^_^

And the Rain Continues...

Rain continues, some roads are blocked and/or destroyed...

Flooded streets, houses, avenues...

And we're the only University STUPID enough to open - -;;

Sure it didn't rain during the day, not much anyway...But considering the conditions the University was under, it was very foolish to decide to open the institution! Flooded hallways and classrooms, classrooms that were way way WAY to cold, absent professors, mud everywhere, damaged chalkboards...

Yes, the university was completely F'ed up.

Of course there were hardly any students...Most of the students don't really live in Ponce, they live in other towns, so they have to go through practically Hell just to get to the damn college! Students that risked their lives to get there, just so they wouldn't miss class, and the institution doesn't take that into consideration!

All in all, I actually don't mind being in the university on days like these, though I'd much rather be safe and calm in the security of my home. It's a treat walking around the campus on days like these, you see some really interesting things and learn a lot; like for instance, I was not aware of the fact that the University had a lake.

Beautiful, isn't it? I knew we had a pool, but I had no idea this lake existed. Yes, a beautiful lake that will soon be a breeding ground for mosquitoes sometime next week ^_^

But it's still marvelous to gaze at =P I mean, I just HAD to stop to take a picture of it since it really captured my eye ^_^ I think that was the highlight of my day, seeing that beautiful sight...

Gosh...when we had our Italian class, a thunderstorm started, rain poured down and it poured and it poured...The wind was howling and it was practically pitch black outside, and it was like...only 6pm. So the professor finished pretty early, like half an hour before the dismissal time. Practically the whole building was flooded O_O McManus Building was practically submerged in water, not even the pool had that much water! Of course I was enjoying the beautiful rain, because rain at night is just so magical...

The chilly wind cutting through your skin, feeling the rain fall on your head...Your hair dripping wet and listening to Dir en grey, no tiene precio...It was all picture-perfect...

But no way in Hell am I going tomorrow - -;;;

Love, Niimu ^_~

Drops of Thoughts Falling from the Sky

It has been raining practically non-stop since yesternight, not that I'm complaining. I love it when it rains, apart from the clean and fresh smell the rain leaves, it also makes me think and reflect about the things I'm going through.

Thought, feelings, and desires...

The rain and its wonderful attributes have a way of opening my mind. The chilly air as it cuts through my skin feels almost magical. There is just nothing better than listening to the rain fall on your window, pouring softly or hard against the street. You can read, listen to music, sleep or just stare at the rain...

As I stare out my window, I think about loved ones that are near yet so far away and that leaves me feeling melancholic. I think about them and yet it also leaves a feeling of love, hopefulness and happiness. Sometimes I wish I could stand outside in the rain, feeling the water cleanse me completely, washing away negative thoughts from my mind...Right now my biggest desires are running outside in the rain, hoping that what I mentioned would be true and my other desire is to be near those I love so much I would give my very life for.

It's a cloudy night yet I can see the faint glow of the stars and the moon, sadly I'm not allowed to step outside if it's raining due to my health problems. But from where I'm sitting I'll try to enjoy everything to its full extent...

Finally!

After many a months of crying, suffering and frustration...Niimu finally has a new cellphone!!! ^_^ Yes...it was about time, I was about to go crazy with my previous phone. That phone messed with my patience for the last time. It was goshforsaken stupid Razr that, while it survived a fall in a bowl of Cocoa Pebbles cereal with milk, was screwed since 3 months prior to that slight mishap.

*sigh* It was a sight watching me trying to make even a simple call from that phone. Flipping the phone's lid repeatedly trying to get the screen to show up only to have it disappear in 24 or so seconds. Fighting with the buttons since the number 7, *, 0 and 9 just didn't work unless you promised to sell your soul to devil. Sucky speaker quality. The screen suddenly flipping upside down or backwards. Not being able to charge the battery since my cellphone swore that it was working without one...

Ah yes, those were all just SOME of the things my ex-cellphone used to do...

Luckily, it's all behind me now. I am quite content with my new Samsung model ^_^ It's neat, comfy and really manageable. I love it to pieces, it's the same model Mommy has so that's like, another plus. ^////^

Since I changed my cell we had to extend the stupid contract with Claro *sigh* So we're stuck with them for two more years...aren't we lucky?

My old cellphone, Geniz, may she rest in piece.

or rather in pieces - -;;

Niimu

Random Find in a Bag of Gummy Bears

The above picture is a random gummy Mommy found in a gummy bear bag ^_^

Yeah...it was really random and odd O.o To me it looks like a bunch of grapes hehehe...So, Mommy found it while we were at the movies with her, celebrating her birthday. She and I were sharing the bag with Uncle (one of Mommy's friends) She pulls out the weird gummy and we just...stare at it, and I said I wanted to eat it because it was red...^_^ But then I thought, nah...we should keep it as a memento of today, random gummy...o.o


But we finished it off between the three of us at Burger King XD

It tasted...odd, not at all like normal gummies...o.o

A Weird and Random Day with my Father

Today my father has amazed me in ways I never thought possible.

Not just today actually, two nights ago when he invited me to play Scrabble. He told me "Let's listen to some music, put a Dir en grey CD." Naturally my mouth fell open wide and I thought it was a dream I mean...

My father...

The guy that refers to Dir en grey as...well, I'd rather not say...

Point is, he doesn't really like them...

But now he's been proving me wrong o.o

So yes, that night I had a CD all ready ^_^ with this track list:

Clever Sleazoid, Dead Tree, Itoshisa ha Fuhai Nitsuki, The Final, Disabled Complexes, Rotting Root, Deity, Hotarubi, C, Kodou, Marmalade Chainsaw and I don't remember what else...

Point is, we were playing and he actually made nice comments about them o.o which was rather disturbing since I am not used to it, but it was still nice ^_^ Well...this morning I received the shock of my life from dad.

I was in my room, minding my own business with my mommy, Geniz (one of my beautiful shistas) and we were sitting in my bed, talking, when suddenly I look up and I start thinking 'I swear I just heard Kyo meowing...' and I open the door and to my surprise...Dad was listening to Dir en grey...on his own accord.

I thought the world was ending I mean, my dad and Dir en grey just don't mix. I went downstairs and I was like "DAD...! What ARE you doing listening to Diru? ^_^" "Well...I liked the CD...No big deal really ^^;;" Not only that, we had another Scrabble match (in which I won by 146 points in Spanish XD) and I burned another CD for him and my dad was really excited!

I'm really proud of my dad, he's been changing his ways and trying his very best to be supportive of my love for Diru...I truly love him for that ^_^

Yes...tis my dad and Gorky ^_^

Niimu

The Origin of the Bunnies

On September 11 I promised that I would let readers know the meaning behind my blog's title "Where the bunnies live..." It's a long tale full of randomness and shistaness.

See, the bunnies first came to existence during the summer of last year. My shista, Hara, came to visit me and spend 3 or 4 days with me. During one of those days, we were sitting at the dining room table chatting via messenger.

Yes...

We were sitting right across from each other but we decided it'd be funnier to IM each other instead of talking. Well, she logged in and I was like "GASP! Harita's online! ^_^ Hiiii shissie-pie" and Hara looked at me kinda funny, sighed and replied "Hi Niimu...how are you?" "I'm fine :( I miss you so much beeyatch! TT_TT" she looked up and said "Seriously Niimu, what are you smoking? - -;;" I looked up from my laptop, feeling insulted and typed "I am not smoking anything, it's the bunnies who be smoking pot..."

Ah yes the bunnies...The pot-smoking bunnies that live in my brain.

"They are the keys to open the chest of infinite wisdom and the answers to life"

Then my shista just started laughing her head off, telling me how crazy I was and how on earth I come up with those kinds of things. The bunnies have been there during the hardest moments of our lives. They are here to give us comfort and emotional support, not to cause trouble. They have Jamaican accents, dreadlocks and they are small...There's about 3 or 4 or them. But, not only are there bunnies...There are also special monkey agents who do the bunnies' dirty work.

There was one agent whom unfortunately lost his life in his line of work, Agent 256 I believe it was...But that's a story for another day.

Well yes, in short; the bunnies are the fountain of knowledge from my untapped well of wisdom and philosophical thinking. Pot-smoking bunnies with Jamaican accents and dreadlocks ^_^ So while I was trying to come up with a creative name for my blog, something original and not cheap like say "My Blog" or "Niimu's Blog" - -;;; I thought "Hey...what about the bunnies? ^_^ They control my everyday activities and randomness!" Hence, "Where the bunnies live..." was born.

Niimu

My role model, Dr. Ana Mercedes Montero Velez

Second time's the charm...


I started this post and had like, well basically the beginning but Firefox froze on me while attempting to open PUCPR's webpage XD Yeah...

So as I was saying (well writing mostly) Yesterday I came to realize how much one of my English professors, Annie as we've come to know her, means to me. After taking 2 major English courses with her, English 223 and 224 and currently coursing my third semester with her taking English 311 Morphology and the structure of the English Language; she has become a big part of my academic life. With her quick wit, her ironic yet loving insults and her simple way of being is enough to brighten our dull days ^_^

Now who is Dr. Montero? She is this feisty little woman, standing tall at 4 feet and 11 inches high. Well manicured nails, blondish brown hair, intelligent, sarcastic yet loving...She has been our professor for the past 2 English courses and we have 2 more with her, she has also been the reason as to why so many students have changed their concentrations. ^_^

Yesterday we had a quiz on the vowel sounds and most of my classmates, though prepared, they were scared of taking the quiz since Hello? It was an Annie quiz XD they are SO not meant to be taken lightly. Well...my classmates who shall remain nameless *cough*AngelCarmeloMiguelandrandomdudewhosenameescapesme*cough* applied what they had learn from having taken English 223 with Annie.

You see, last year, as she was writing on the chalkboard she jumped up and exclaimed "Ow!" Being the caring students that we are, we asked what was wrong. "I've been bitten by the quiz bug..." [insert smug Annie smile] "Put everything away and let's have a short quiz on the first 5 chapters of the book" Long story short, we all basically failed that quiz ^^;;; Annie then apologized and said: "I'm sorry, it's just that...If I see the desks lined up nicely I get the urge to give quizzes." Well that comment stuck in my classmates heads and every day since then, they place all the desks in either a circular form or all joined side by side in a group so Annie won't give us quizzes.

Yesterday, Annie proved our theory wrong...Well theirs in this case - -;; She walked into the classroom and saw them all bunched up, she stared at them and smiled her sarcastic smile and told them "Awww...I think it is so special how you 4 friends are always so close together. I think it shows us that you all have a strong bond and are inseparable, but that's not getting you out of our quiz." Well...they just sat there staring at Annie and having scared smiles on their faces. Annie once again smiled (and we all know that her smiles are pretty dangerous...) "What I mean to say is...GET IN THE DAMN LINE FOR GOD'S SAKE!" and in less than a second they had already moved their desks and were shaking in their seats. Wow...Annie has such power over them, us for that matter. "I am so ashamed of how easy this quiz is...It's almost embarrassing." she smiled "But I know some of you will just, find a way to prove me wrong. ^_^"

Quiz was easy, providing you had studied. I finished it in less than 15 minutes, but I still went back and double checked my answers of course. After the quiz, Annie said that volunteers had to go up to the chalkboard and answer the homework words we had to transcribe. Only 5 students went up there to answer them, and only 2 answers were correct. No one else dared to go up there...Annie sat on one of our desks and asked "Well, any more volunteers?" and received no replies. "People, for God's sake...I asked you to transcribe simple, normal everyday words. Not something like Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!" she stood up and kept on going "I mean, come on. All of you have gone to the THEATER, some of you have NEPHEWS and you all live in a NEIGHBORHOOD. You all hope to GRADUATE and you'd better get up and write the damn words before I lose my PATIENCE and send somebody to the HOSPITAL. Where it will be so cold that you'll need to wear a JACKET." We all sat in our seats semi-petrified yet laughing our heads off as she said "See? I used all the words I assigned...and you understood them, so there's no excuse."

It's Annie moments like these that make me glad to be taking classes with such an amazing professor, one that really helped me realize what I want to be when I grow up...What I want to become, and that is an English professor just like her. But as much as I love and admire her, I'm thankful to be taller than she is :P

Niimu

Yes you lucky people...My first post ^_~

Hi! Welcome to my blog.

T'was created simply because I was looking for an excuse to not study for the English Lit test I had
and I was bored out of my mind ^_^ So I simply thought, "Hmmm...I know! Maybe I could make
a blog, and update it whenever I'm feeling random, frustrated and/or bored! ^_^" So now you lucky people will get to know all about my interestingly amazing life! I truly envy you...

Not really...

Why? Because I am the protagonist in this (sometimes) fascinating play that is my life and you are well...the lucky audience ^_^ Keep up the good work! Love you all!


Well...this was only the first post, maybe tomorrow I'll explain the name of the blog or talk about important people ^_~

Hugs and kisses, love from Niimu